Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Someone Dear and New year goals.

People know how special my grandmother was to me and still is. We had our Valentine's dinner on Sat Feb 12th at church and we had are niece Kara with with that night. I took my little girl Laci and Kara to the restroom and a sister that was close to my grandmother came in behind us and before she left she turned to me and said you remind me so much of your grandmother when I seen you come in tonight. All I could say was thank you. But to my self  I was think what a great complement that was. And early that day my thoughts were on her when I was little all the kids were at my grandparents in the summer. Well kids being kids (we were mean to each other) one of us would have a nosebleed and my grandmother would all ways take us and tell us to repeat after her and we would she would read form the Bible (Ezekiel 16:6 And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou whou was in thy blood, Live: yea, I said unto the when thou wast in thy blood, Live.) it is a verse that stop blood she would have us say it with her until the blood stop running. Laci's nose was bleeding and I done this with her until the blood stop the whole time that we said it I just cry ed and cry ed just remember so long ago my grandmother do it with us when we were little. The small things is what I remember the most.

As for my New Year goal.
Well just like everyone in the world the 1st thing is to lose weight. Well there is a program in GA called Thrive and all it does is teaches you to lose weight no pills. You go to class and they teach you how to eat and live your life but lose the weight at the same time. I joined the program for 3 months and have been on it for 7 weeks this far and I have lost a total of 22.2 lbs and 21 inches over all 15.5 in my core alone. I feel great and love doing it. There are times that I think to my self  why are you doing this what is it for you will gain it all back when you stop. Well the number one thing they ask you to do is your why. I will tell you my why. I have a fear of dieing young and very over weight I don't want to wind up with sleeping disorders like my dad and brothers. Or have to control my sugar with med. And having my family but me in the ground with a Crane. No I don't think that I would have let myself get that big but what you don't realize is you do. By looking at me some people would say that I am not that big or that i am just big bones but bone has nothing to do with it I am fat and I know it. I have battled with my weight for years know when I became pregnant with Laci I lost 60lbs where most people gain. After Laci was born I gain 30 lbs back slow but I did gain it back. My grandmother was the one that asked me to get my weight under control just like she asked my aunt to do the same. Well this past year my aunt started taking control of her weight and I done the same but my heart was not in to it like her was she found a reason to lived she weighed almost 300lb and wearing a size 26 now she is down to 200 something and wearing a size 18 the last time I talked to her. With me it started for real at the 1st of this year when I decided to take my life back.. And I have my life and thank God for it each and everyday. When I don't have the strength to make it through the day I know he is there to guide me the rest of the way.